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The child's growing up years
is very crucial as this stage is formative and
will set the overall personality of the child as he
heads towards adulthood. That is why, as much as possible,
children should develop healthy self-esteem
during childhood years.
Positive self-esteem would certainly be a child's
asset as he moves on the journey and conquer the world's
many challenges. Take note that children who have
healthy self-esteem tend to succeed when facing life's
negative pressures and conflicts.
Low self-esteem transforms children to become individuals
who are frustrated and anxious about how the world
works. Such children tend to become societal problems
and deprive themselves of the many opportunities that
may otherwise come their way.
Children with low self-esteem also become apparently
self-critical, withdrawn, depressed and passive. They
tend not to become open to challenges and natural
changes and underestimate their own capability.
Defining self-esteem
Before attempting to help children develop positive
self-esteem,
it is imperative that you first know the nature and
meaning of self-esteem.
Self-esteem is self-perception and is the set of
beliefs and feelings one has about him or herself.
Self-esteem is directly implicated with confidence
and fighting spirit; the very significant factors
that help every individual accomplish tasks and head
towards achievement.
Psychologists emphasize that self-esteem begins to
be manifested early in life. As a toddler, you may
probably remember the sense of achievement you attain
when you start learning how to stand or how to reach
for objects.
It is important to note that one achievement would
pave the way for another achievement. As life goes
on, those accomplishments become parts of a chain
that define the overall personality of a person.
If the child develops low self-esteem, he may tend
to be critical of himself and doubt his ability, leaving
him to just sit and not exert effort to achieving
any other attainments. Such a situation is truly dangerous.
In contrast, children with high self-esteem
exhibit boldness and courage to keep on trying to
achieve goals. They are not afraid to try, even fail.
They treat failures as learning experiences that would
be of great help to achieve many other goals in the
future.
Helping children build self-esteem
Here are several simple tips on how you, as a parent,
could help foster high self-esteem in your child.
Be careful of what you say. Sometimes, people tend
to say out loud expressions that may be taken as comments
on people. If you say something bad after learning
what your child did or failed to do, like 'stupid',
he may retain that and tag himself as stupid. Remember,
children are very sensitive to the words their parents
say to them. Try to be as positive and praise your
child for any achievement, be it simple or great,
he may attain.
Set a good role model. Children will always look up
to you as a model, so try to act as appropriately
as you can, especially when they around. They would
tend to imitate your manners and deeds, so be extremely
careful in setting out examples.
Be affectionate. Aside from moral and emotional support,
experts assert that children need to be loved. Remember,
you can never boost your child's self-esteem without
making it clear to him that he is unconditionally
loved. Another point, if the child perceives that
his parents do not leave, he might start wondering,
who else will? That would make him feel insignificant.
Give praise. Praise your child whenever he does good
deeds or achieves a simple goal. Be lavish in praise
and subtle and constructive in criticism. For example,
if your child fails a math test, tell him you are
proud that he made his best instead of putting pressure
by saying that he should have done better.
Make the home his sanctuary, his source of nurturing
and love. To do so, make sure you and your spouse
do not stage a fight in front of the child. A child
who may witness ugly encounters may tend to be depressed
and become withdrawn, leading him to a lower self-esteem.
If you think you cannot easily and effectively handle
that, try seeking advice and professional help from
a child or family counselor.
Do not hesitate to do the best you can to develop
healthy self-esteem
in your child. It is your responsibility to raise
him to become a good and achieving individual in the
future.
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